Just Showing Up
Sometimes it is just about showing up.
No matter what our resolution is for a project, and despite what I wrote about here, sometimes getting anything done can feel like near impossible. For some reason the chances of us moving ahead with our undertaking feels like a trudge through treacle. Enthusiasm is thin on the ground, self-belief seems to be taking a day off and reasons to just run for the hills seem to far out weigh doing any work. What are we to do in such situations? After all we know where we would rather be. Even if in that moment being far away feels very appealing, in our heart of hearts we know that that project is where our passion really lies.
While I was living in a Buddhist Centre in South Wales, the community would meet twice during the day for meditation practice. The gatherings would bookend the day, early morning and late evening. Especially if we were going through a busy period, courses being run, many people visiting, the morning sessions could seem too early and the evening sessions just felt too late. You were too tired to really engage with the practice and so it felt that all you were doing was turning up, you were a body in the room. But with time it became apparent that that was what it was about, just showing up, going through the motions if that is all that you could do and then onto the next thing - the day or bed. It was just about showing up and seeing what happened. You were cultivating a habit of being there on the cushion. How easy it would have been to just turn away, but no this was about being there. Even when your mind was tired, when you were contemplating other options, you were present on the cushion and surrounding yourself in what you really wanted to do.
So when that blank screen appears too blank. When that yoga class or the gym feel too far away. When it feels as though there are too many barriers to your project moving forward. When it feels like too much effort to get to your own meditation cushion, just show up and see what happens. ….and make that resolution to show up again and again, no matter what.