On Being Alone, Solitude at 35,000ft+

I, we (my fellow passengers) are flying at 36,000ft on a flight from New York’s JFK to Honolulu in Hawaii. The flight time is 9 hours and 51 minutes. Add onto that the 3½ hours that we spent on the tarmac at JFK due to a technical problem. We are currently about 3¼ hours into the flight. In that time I have had something to eat, watched a little on the inflight entertainment (never something that I spend much time with), and slept.

I am guessing that for many this all sounds like torture, a modern life nightmare?

I am certainly not a fan of modern day air travel. It has lost a lot of… something …from my travels in earlier years. Maybe I am describing the results of age? However, at this mid stage of the flight, sitting in a dimmed cabin in the self contained world of my own seat, I am comfortable and at home, not wanting this flight to end. For me there is this magic moment, a sacred moment mid flight when I realize that I have hours in front of me. A time when I am alone in my space in the sky. A time for me to rest, to create, to read, to reflect…all without the noise of others and the demands of life.

This is a time that I value, that I don’t take for granted and that I am grateful for. It feeds and nourishes my introverted and highly sensitive nature. As I have said elsewhere on this blog, I like finding myself alone in the company of others.

A point will come in the flight when I will have an acute sense of the flight nearing an end. Maybe that will be when the cabin crew bring through the last service of the flight about an hour and half before we land? Maybe it will be as we pack up for landing? Maybe it will just hit me in a few hours from now?

I find that I always approach these long flight with things that I would like to do. A book that I want to read, to get my teeth into. Some writing and reflecting that I would like to do. What usually happens is that I fall asleep not long after take off, sometimes before. Tiredness from activity before the flight catches up with me and getting on the aircraft just lulls me to rest. If the flight is that little bit shorter, as we come into land I berate myself for a lost opportunity. As we disembark, I suddenly find myself back in the hustle and bustle of life, and while I might feel rested (something else not to be taken for granted), my opportunity to be in my creative and recharging world has been missed. However, on these longer flights, there is time to rest and time for more. There is never enough time, I always wish that the flight was an hour or two longer (and even then there still will probably be something missed).

Does this sounds self serving? Maybe but for me it is also needed. My need for alone time is no more than the time that anyone needs to rest, however they might do that. As a highly sensitive person, I am wired to take in a lot of what is going on in the world around me, in much the same way that blotting paper absorbs water. I cannot help it. The result can be exhausting on an emotional level, and hard to understand for those who might experience exhaustion as purely or for the most part a physical thing. If I cannot take the down time, because the situation does not allow for it, because there is no understanding for why I should want to, “what have you done to get tired?" or because the time that I want for solitary activity (which fills me) is not available, I have to work on coping strategies. But sooner or later the cup overflows and I need a time out.

That is where these long flights come in and how they can help me.

We are now at 38,000ft. We have climbed since I started typing (my iPhone 13 Mini on a little stand, a portable keyboard to one side, all sitting on the drop down service table in front of me), to try to out run the turbulence that had the fasten seatbelt sign back on and instructions from the crew to return to our seats.

There is 5½ hours remaining. We are approaching the Pacific coast having crossed the continental US. The first half of the flight is nearing its end.

I’ll post this after a read through, sometime after I land and am back home (due to the initial delay, we’ll miss our connection, though thankfully there are many flights between the Hawaiian islands, and hopefully our luggage will join us…modern travel). There is no WiFi up here, thankfully. More anonymity, paradoxically from a world that I also value. They’ll be plenty of time to touch base. For now I need and appreciate the quiet.