🤕 I’ve been getting migraines since I was in my mid-teens - wow, that’s pushing 50 years. They have varied over the years in their frequency, how they show up, and their intensity. At the moment there is no certainty when they will appear, the last one might have been six months ago (I don’t keep track).
This afternoon, while working, a migraine decided to move in. At first it felt mild, but as the evening has moved on the pain has increased. For now it is keeping me from sleeping. I’m trying to tire myself by reading. ⚘
🥀 It is Sunday evening and I am exhausted. The weekend has been long and busy, as well as being an emotional roller coaster. The introvert in me is running on a battery that is close to empty battery. I’ll be looking forward to turning the light out tonight, and hope that the week ahead offers me some respite. ⚘
🍂 OK so the leaves aren’t changing colour here, but stepping outside this morning the air was beautifully cool and sharp. The weather will warm up as the day goes on, though we do have a front coming through the islands this weekend bringing rain. This time of year - autumn through to winter - is the time of year that I enjoy most here in Hawaii. For the cooler temperatures, the variety of weather and for the waves returning to Maui’s north shore - even though I do not surf, I do enjoy watching the ocean’s moods and feeling its power. ⚘
🥴 I can’t focus this morning. There are things on my mind and things that I need and want to do, and they are all fighting for my attention. No one is winning and nothing is getting done. My mind is not a fog, I can see clearly. More I am slipping and sliding, and deep down possibly avoiding as well? ⚘
🌊 Stepping outside this morning, pre dawn and the world illuminated by the full moon, I could hear the distant roar of waves. I love that sound and feeling the power of the ocean even from so far inland. Winter is here. The waves have returned to the North Shore of Maui. ⚘
🫣️ Sometimes I sit feeling safe because I am not putting myself out into a situation and so not opening myself to criticism - and of course the flip side of that, praise or maybe simply indifference. However that safe place can in time become hiding place, a place that handicaps me by disabling trust in myself. Today I celebrate putting myself out there, for being vulnerable. ⚘
📝 I used Apple’s TextEdit app this morning for saving some text documents that I didn’t want in Markdown or in a heavier duty text processing app…and it worked just fine for my usage. I’ve hardly ever used TextEdit as I’ve moved through versions of MacOS over the years, and I don’t know why? My tendency to look to third party apps, really. While I like to support third party developers, this is being written on Drafts, I feel as though I should really look to see what is sitting on the machine that I have sitting right in front of me. What I need might already be there. ⚘
😒 Another discombobulated day, ending what has felt like a discombobulated week. I’ve got to learn to manage these sorts of situations better. I definitely wasn’t putting out the best version of myself at times this week. ⚘
😕 Sometimes I feel as if I’m losing control of everything around me. The reality is that I am probably rarely in control, though the illusion indicates otherwise. ⚘
🙈 There are some men working on our roof, a second story roof, replacing optimizers on the back of a couple of our photovoltaics. I do not have a head for heights and can’t stand watching them working up there. Inside for me, or at least out of sight of the roof, just going out to checkin with them when their feet are on terra firma. ⚘
😑 It’s a still and moody evening. The weather has been building for a couple of hours now, building to a silence. And now it feels as though we are sitting, waiting for something to happen. Oh, there is a puff of wind, …and now stillness again, the quiet broken by a passing car. Just waiting… ⚘
😒 Life gets busy and frustrating, resulting in me not posting much to my blog this week. I feel uncomfortable and frustrated (twice in one post) not being able to do so, and I’m wondering why?
I think that it is a reflection of what blogging means to me as a form of self-expression - whether that is through writing or photographs shared.
I think that it is also about having the time to sit and create. When that is unavailable to me for too long, I find the void that emerges just starts to eat away at me. Sometimes a piece comes out very quickly - create, post, done - other times (this post is a case in point), because of my frame of mind, what I am trying to say or convey, not having the right atmosphere around me, other (?), the creative process just takes time. If those are not available to me, nothing is produced. ⚘
🌵 Today has been the driest day in the last week, and I am so happy to be able to say that. With that said a Red Flag Warning has been issued for leeward areas of Maui through to Saturday. I’m fortunate to live in an area where rain has started to fall again, others are not. ⚘
🍂 Something has clicked in the air during this last week. It is not just the increased rainfall that I have been alluding to here, though that is certainly a part of it. No, the Trade Winds are blowing cooler, the water feels cooler, days are that little bit shorter (the difference between mid-summer and mid-winter light is not as pronounced as more northerly latitudes, but it is there), and then there’s that little je ne sais quoi in the air. A switched has been switched and we are no longer in summer. The season has changed. Autumn has arrived in the islands. ⚘
🌧️ Recently I’ve spoken a lot here about rain and the lack of it over the last few months here on Maui. Now it appears to be falling with more frequency, and it is a joy to hear. Yes, the sun is still here and yesterday was dry for the most part, but rain is falling as I write this. ⚘
💧 Since the rains have returned to Maui, I am reminded of a phenomena that I experience here and have not experienced anywhere else (please let me know if you experience this where you are). I am outside. Above me there is a clear sky, sun out. Aways off I can see rain clouds, perhaps a major storm brewing, perhaps a squall coming in. But that is off to one side. Not above me. I am experiencing sunny, clear weather….except occasionally, I feel sprinkles of rain. It is clear sky above me, and I am experiencing sprinkles of rain. It is as though the rain in the distance is being blown to where I am standing, that is the only conclusion that I can come to. I have truly never experienced this anywhere else. ⚘
A Stage 3 drought was declared yesterday on many parts of the island of Maui. So far into October and there has been little rain for months now. Dropping into autumn is usually the time for the rains to start.
…And at the same time as the drought is declared, maybe there are signs that the rains are returning? Last night and the night before it rained off and on through the night. Cloud cover yesterday cut the heat of the sun, even if rain was little. And now, as light appears here on a Saturday morning, rain falls. Here’s hoping. ⚘
🍛Evening sounds surround me. My men’s group has been canceled for the evening and so I find myself by chance out and about. On the way home I’ve stopped at a food truck for an unexpected dinner. I hear voices near me, music playing while people kick back for the evening, utensils clanging against saucepans as food is prepared. A day comes to end, an evening begins. ⚘
🤪 Life is crazy at times, throwing options at me both of which I can say “yes” to, but in a given moment one is getting in the way of another.
As I have written here a few times over the last couple of weeks, Maui is in bad need of rain. There have been showers, but what we need is a steady downpour over a number of days…maybe with the occasional break for some sun.
This afternoon we are hoping to get our solar system serviced, which sits on our roof. Today and the coming week (as far as I can trust the forecast here), looks like the best option that we have had for a while for a decent amount of rain. There was a shower this morning and the clouds are building. AND I don’t want the solar engineers not to be able to work on the roof. We have been waiting a long time for this service.
😶 A quiet day is coming to an end. My wife has been off island for most of it, so I have been home alone. At least I was after taking my step-daughter’s dog to the vet, and almost missing that appointment due to some work on overhead cables in the most inconvenient place - holding up weekend traffic heading to the coast or into town. After a week of feeling unwell, I have appreciated the time to rest quietly. And I also appreciated having my step-daughter’s swimming pool next door. I sat in the warm water as the sun set this evening. I would still love some rain, but the clouds, sun, stilling wind and colours in the sky were perfect. I now sit waiting for my wife to return. ⚘
It’s been a slow day. I’m still feeling under the weather. I’ve no idea what I have. An acupuncture appointment this morning caused me to rest deeper later in the day. Now I am at home, quiet, missing an invitation to dinner with some dear friends, but appreciating the silence and stillness of home. The socializing would have been too much. ⚘
🤒 The last few days have seen me achy and low on energy. The vog, volcanic fog, might be in part to blame. The Trade winds have pretty much died out this week, giving the chance for the vog to drift over from the Big Island of Hawai’i. However, while vog can create lethargy I don’t think that it is totally to blame for how I feel right now. I hear that there is “something” going around, and I think that I have just become run down and picked up some version of that something.
🐶 We are looking after my wife’s daughter’s dog while she is away. This morning he got out of our property through a hole in the fence that I have not been able to find yet. The morning started off hot and he was in no hurry to listen to us to and stop running further away from us - he had his freedom and was enjoying himself. Thankfully he did not get hurt and I eventually caught him (my morning shower was by then null and void - I was dripping in sweat). Next job, to seal every hole that he might have squeezed through, however tight that squeeze might look to be. ⚘
🏢 I joined a meeting based in the UK last night, via Zoom. I do so about once a month. Depending on whether British Summer Time is current or not, the meeting starts at 11:00pm or 12:00am Hawaii Time (the clocks do not change through the seasons in Hawaii). The meeting usually ends between 1:00am and 2:00am, sometimes going on for longer. I rarely make it past 1:30am and the following day, always a Monday, is pretty much a write off for me. Right now I am feeling exhausted. ⚘
🕔 An early start to my Sunday, taking family to the airport for a business & pleasure trip. Things will be quieter around here for the next three weeks. ⚘
🥱 Last night was late - 1:00am to bed, a time that my body was rebelling against - looking after my grandson while waiting for the rest of the family to return home from the Maui County Fair. Today has been slow. ⚘
🎠 We’ll be heading to the 98th Maui County Fair this evening with the grandkids. This year’s Fair will be the first one since COVID. It will also be the first time that I have been to a County Fair here on Maui. So a new experience for me tonight. ⚘