This page contains longer, titled posts that I have made to my blog, so as to more easily separate them from other posts that I make here. If you would like to subscribe to the feed for this page, point your RSS reader here.
Monday, February 4, 2019
With my wife away for 10 days visiting her mother, I decided to dial things back at home. While work continued, outside of that I spent more time alone, reflecting, reading and writing. A semi-retreat. In part that meant less online time, and no time in micro.blog. Time away was good, and I look forward to returning to the conversations.
Thursday, December 13, 2018
“For centuries men have been meeting and sitting in circle." I have heard that statement, or variations on it, many times over the last few years. It is a statement that rings true to me to the depth of my being, as though it is touching into something that is at our core. What has caused me to hear those words uttered so many times? Because I have been sitting in circle with men for the last three years.
Monday, November 26, 2018
Perhaps I am being impatient, but one of my posts appears to have disappeared into the ether I had been commenting how the Pe’ahi Challenge was cancelled today during the men’s competition because the waves got too big! This is a competition where 40 or 60 foot waves are not unusual. Despite my “non-surfer” status, this competition/phenomena really fascinates me. In this video, taken in a boat by the waves and from a helicopter flying above them, you can really see the power of the waves, and the danger that the men and women put themselves under by surfing these giants, Jaws: Men’s Top Three Waves.
Monday, November 26, 2018
I am no surfer, but the Pe’ahi Challenge, otherwise known as Jaws , bears watching at least once just for the shear audacity of the surfers competing. Every winter a swell hits the island of Maui causing a wave phenomena nicknamed Jaws, so called due to the unpredictability of the the sudden huge waves, up to 60 feet (18m), that break at this remote spot on the island’s shore. From my understanding the unpredictability is less these days, as the surfers and competition holders can scan maps and satellite imagery to predict when the waves are going to hit.
Friday, August 17, 2018
I am not going to pretend that I can work well when I know that people are around who might call on me at any moment, because I can’t. Loud music, disturbances, kids shouting, people talking, these distractions and others just throw me when it comes to working. Sometimes, most of the time, just people present in the room with me will intrude on my ability to focus. Unless they are the quiet type like me, in which case no problem, I sit there anticipating the next interruption.
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
One of the most rewarding activities that I am involved in right now is a weekly men’s circle that I co-facilitate in Maui Community Correctional Center. We call the group Men’s Mentoring and its aim is to offer inmates of the jail a place to share in confidence, with no judgment, issues in their life that they are struggling with, and to grow through that sharing. We look at these issues under the umbrella of teaching the inmates emotional literacy, to help ourselves develop the ability to recognize and act appropriately on the emotions that arise within us.
Monday, February 26, 2018
Do you ever have an event coming up that you are just not looking forward to, indeed dreading? You are mentally counting down the days to when you will have to show up at a time and place that you could quite happily strike off your calendar? That meeting becomes a gnawing presence in your life, making it impossible for you to relax, and difficult to fully concentrate on anything else.
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Introverts spend a lot of time in their inner lives. It is what makes us introverts. We sit, process, think, ruminate and so much so that the external world can sometimes be just too much for us. It is why at times we just want to be quiet, or can seem remote, aloof. We are not ignoring you, just looking to find some time to rest from all that activity and noise.
Friday, February 16, 2018
Old habits die hard…even, or maybe especially when they run counter to something that you truly believe in. Visitors to this site will know that aside from working with introverts and highly sensitive people of both sexes, I have a particular interest in working with men as I believe that personality traits that such personalities engender in people can run counter to how society expects men to behave. This can result in introverted and highly sensitive men feeling that there is something wrong with them, for them to deny and suppress how they are feeling and what their needs are, and to generally struggle to speak up for what they need for fear of being judged.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Can you move from frantic behaviour to concentration? Can you move from disturbance to instant focus? Can you jump from requests for help to focusing on a job that you are trying to get done? I can’t! Spinning on that sort of dime doesn’t fit my personality. I need to have time set aside, undisturbed time in order to be able to focus on and accomplish what I am doing. In fact I need to be sure that I won’t be disturbed.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Meditation is my life blood. My days feel better when I start them with meditation, even the bad days. I have touched into something inside me which only grows more familiar with time…I am reminded of the inner resources which we all have at our disposal. We only need to cultivate them…and at times, despite my best intentions, I miss a cultivation session. The “miss” in the title is not a yearning to be back on the meditation cushion at some point in a busy day - though that wish might be there!
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Two minutes walk from where I live is a bluff. It is not immediately obvious that the bluff is accessible, being as it is down a short path at the end of a cul-de-sac. For those who do find their way there, they are afforded a view of a great part of the North Shore of Maui - across Paia Bay to Baldwin Beach, then further in the distance to Kahului, Wailuku and the sweep of the West Maui mountains.
Thursday, February 2, 2017
I’m pleased to announce the 2nd edition of my eBook, “Meditation Tips for Introverts and Highly Sensitive People.” The book looks at how meditation can help introverts & HSP’s. There are instructions on how to develop a regular meditation practice, how to deal with obstacles that arise and expectations that we put onto ourselves. Further ideas are explored for how you can take meditation out into your daily life This new edition has a completely new chapter looking at building boundaries into our lives and how that can help our meditation practice.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
If we cannot keep ourselves in balance physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually we cannot hope to function from a center of well-being. ~ Thrive: The Highly Sensitive Person and Career, by Dr. Tracy Cooper, PhD It is 6:30pm and I have still not made the bed today. That is an unheard of thing for me. I usually can’t get on with my day if I know the bed has not been made.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Two days before Christmas, two days before the socializing of the Holiday season really got into swing, two days before I felt that at some stage in the next week I will need to dip deep into my inner resources to navigate my introverted self through the busyness of seasonal jollity - I get a migraine. Migraines for me are a three day presence of dull thick, hard throbs in my head and psychologically feeling completely out of sorts in my body.
Friday, December 16, 2016
I recently returned from a visit to Japan. It was not my first visit to Asia, but my first visit to Japan. In my readings about introverts and HSP’s, I have heard it said that there is more acceptance of quieter, sensitive personalities in Asia. I would concur on that in the countries that I have visited - India, Nepal, Tibet. I’ve always put it down to their society’s support of contemplative traditions.
Monday, August 8, 2016
A facilitated discussion for and about gentle men - introverted and sensitive men who do not fully identify with the dominant macho expectations. What does it mean to be such a man in the world today? What have been your successes? What have been your struggles? This will be the third such discussion that I have held. There’s no need to have been at the previous two to attend this one.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
You are Invited to a Discussion For and About Gentle Men Invitation I have previously held two discussions with men to explore what it means to be a quiet or gentle man who does not fully identify with the dominant macho expectations. At both events there was a wide ranging discussion, with the men present sharing their own experiences growing up and how they dealt with the differences that they noticed in themselves compared with other men around them, and the expectations put on them that did not fit in with their nature.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Boy this article/post has taken a long time to come together - too long. I’m not sure why. I could probably blame writers procrastination, that blank white screen or sheet of paper that is just sitting there taunting you to dare to fill it with words. Perfection has probably also played a part…”gotta get this right,” and then I over think what I wanted to say (as is my introvert tendency).
Monday, January 25, 2016
Invitation I am sending out this invitation to men, or men who you may know in your life, to join me for a free discussion about what it means to be a gentle or quiet man who does not fully identify with the dominant macho expectations. I’d love to have a discussion about being such a man in the world today - the challenges, the joy, where you shine and where you struggle.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
I find it interesting watching people clean their teeth. This is not a regular pastime of mine I hasten to add, but from time to time I find myself visiting friends and we happen to pass in the evening as we get ready for bed, toothbrushes in hand. I believe that observing how people clean their teeth can give a glimpse into how their mind is working…at least in that moment.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill I could see the city light Wind was blowing, time stood still Eagle flew out of the night" ~ Solsbury Hill, by Peter Gabriel Solsbury Hill is an Iron Age Hill Fort to the East of the city of Bath in England. From the lyrics of this well-known song we know that Peter Gabriel is on the Hill with the darkness of night surrounding him.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
When looking at my life as an introvert and HSP, I can spend a lot of time gazing into the rear view mirror. Why? Because for the greater part of my life I had no formal reference point with which to frame how I have felt in different situations. While growing up my heart knew what I wanted, what I felt comfortable with, how best I worked, the outside world gave me different messages.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
I wrote this piece to explore some thoughts and observations that have been going through my mind. I’ve been thinking a lot about introversion and sensitivity, as it is defined for a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and men. Specifically the visibility of introverted and/or HSP men online, and what that might say to how these men are handling this aspect of themselves in their lives. I have included a question mark in the title of this blog as I also ask myself if I am asking the correct question?
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
I am not long back from a summer holiday visiting family and friends in different parts of the US and UK. Six weeks on the road. I have be away for much longer, much longer, but looking out from the perspective of pre-departure this felt like an exhausting trip before I had even taken off. Despite looking forward to seeing family and being back in England, this jaunt felt as though it would be busy - read, not much down time.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Melissa Schwartz of Leading Edge Parenting, where she coaches parents of highly sensitive children, recently interviewed me. Our discussion looked at the overlap between Tibetan Buddhism, particularly meditation and High Sensitivity. You can watch the complete interview below. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the conversation with Melissa.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
A little under two weeks ago I wrote about the Medicine Walk that I was planning to embark on. The time that I went out on the walk coincided with a week when family were all away. Because of that I returned to an empty, quiet house. It was an ideal environment to sit and reflect on the experience in the wilderness of Haleakala crater. I’ll with you share some of those reflections here.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
As I journal and reflect on the Medicine Walk that I went on last Monday, I am reminded of the importance of some digital tools that I make use of to help prevent me from getting caught up in the digital world. I thought that I would share them here with you should you also want to explore moments of mindful stepping back while engaging in your digital life. Before I go any further, I just want to mention a couple of things:
Thursday, June 11, 2015
This coming Monday, June 15, I will be spending the day on a Medicine walk. I am taking the time now to share this with you as witnesses to my intention for that day. I will set off at dawn into the crater of Haleakala, the large dormant volcano here on Maui and walk until sunset, fasting though drinking. I share here some some thoughts behind the Medicine Walk and why I am choosing to spend my day in this way.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Some days suck and yesterday was one of them for me. That was the downside. The upside happened as the day drew to a close with a bit of wisdom that came my way in one of those synchronous ways that things can unfold in life. The advice was helpful and what I needed to hear. However, that piece of wisdom did not surface before I had spent a good part of the day feeling sluggish and as though I was lugging a dead weight around with me.