Meditation
Announcing a new, old podcast
It was early April 2017. I was sitting in an Airbnb in Portland, OR. My wife and I had returned to the city that had been our home for eight years, to sort out a storage room of our belongings, to decide what was going with us back to Maui and what we were going to sell. I had decided to start a podcast to help people start and build a meditation practice. It was to be called Behind The Thoughts Podcast. I had been fortunate to have a community around me when I started meditating, a community that was a source of a lot of support as I built this new habit. I felt that this probably wasn’t true for everyone, and wanted to offer something to help those who wanted to learn about and start a meditation practice. Podcasting was new to me, but I just felt like doing this.
So here I was in the Airbnb, sitting in front of my laptop on take ”x” trying to get past the nerves and just record the first episode. Eventually, through frustration with myself that I might never get this done, I put down my first episode. It did not have to be perfect, indeed never would be as I did not have studio grade equipment for recording. My tools were, depending on where I was recording it,
- my MacBook Air (the microphone on that)
- my iPhone (the microphone on the accompanying headphones)
- an application to capture the recording
- a sound file of a meditation bell/gong
- Apple GarageBand to string it all together
- a service to host the podcast (Podbean at that time)
On my way
Once that first episode was out of the door and I got use to sticking the sound files together, I was off. Over the course of the six months I recorded forty episodes. They were recorded in all sorts of different locations, some outside, some inside. I was enjoying myself…and then it just stopped. There was no particular reason. I reached the fortieth episode and recorded no more…
…until now.
Thoughts of starting up again
In May 2019 Jean MacDonald ask me in an episode of Micro Monday if I was planning to launch a podcast on Micro.blog. At the time I was and my affirmative answer has stayed with me, though I could not find the push within me to get a podcast out of the door.
In the early months of the COVID pandemic I ran a series of meditation videos, still available on YouTube, to give people some tools to deal with the isolation of the lockdown that was happening in many parts of the world. I enjoyed putting together this unplanned series and it made me think again of my podcast that I had stopped and was now archived on Google Drive.
New website
Micro.blog makes it very easy to host a podcast and so the idea came to me of taking the old episodes off of Google Drive, uploading them to Micro.blog and use that as the basis for continuing the Behind The Thoughts Podcast. So over the Christmas/New Year holidays of 2020 I purchased the domain name for the hosting website and uploaded those first forty episodes. With that done I re-registered the podcast with Apple podcasts.
Relaunch
With that done, on Saturday, January 9th, 2021 I recorded the forty first episode and published it. The Behind The Thoughts Podcast had officially been relaunched. The aim of the podcast is the same as before. To help people build and maintain a meditation practice. It is for anyone regardless of level or experience with meditation. The first episode includes a short guided meditation. Going forward I am expecting to offer more guided meditation sessions than in the initial forty episodes.
The details
Where?
- Behind The Thoughts Podcast website
- On Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts (if they draw from Apple’s podcast directory)
How often?
- My plan is for once a week. That will be the guiding frequency, but occasionally this might vary less and more often
Material covered?
- Building a meditation practice
- Dealing with obstacles to meditation
- Taking your meditation into everyday life.
- At times informed by things that I am dealing with in my life (on the good chance that they’ll be something in there for you)
And You?
- If you have a question, concern or something that you would like me to cover, please get in touch
I hope that you can join me on the podcast and the meditation journey.
Heading out to a remote part of the West Mauis this afternoon to lead a meditation for a dear friend.
I sat in the car in a parking lot to do a short loving kindness meditation before heading home. Creating a pause in the day, and a softening of the heart. I did, however, forget the Book in the Car.
Book in the Car
In my attempt to read more, I have put a book in the glove compartment of my car. I am not the fastest of readers, and find that I do not have a lot of time to read - perhaps a few pages before turning off the light at night. Other opportunities are grabbed here and there…and that was the motivation for the book in the glove compartment idea.
No, I do not intend to read and drive. However, perhaps after going into a store, I’ll stop for a moment and read a few pages? Or maybe I will tie in a lunch break instead of rushing home, pulling over in a park or beside the road to munch on a sandwich and read a few pages?
I just figured that maybe with a book nearby, when I am out and about, it might engender in me a new habit and find me taking time to read. I believe that the time is there, even if I convince myself otherwise at times, I just have to find those opportunities. I say to people who struggle finding time to meditate, that the time is there, you just have to be creative and look for time. Now I a throwing that back at myself and looking at reading. Yes, the time might not be what I ideally want, but it will be something.
Now I just have to remember that the book is in the car!
A Bird Flew Into A Window
Last weekend was one of unplugging and heading to the beautiful community of Hana on the eastarn edge of Maui. So isolated is the community, that at the height of the recent pandemic lockdown there was a road block established to prevent all but local residents from traveling out there, thus protecting their vulnerability. Along with my wife and a few friends, we spent the day at Hamoa Beach, enjoying its crystal clear waters. We left early in the day, some of our party cycling out there. With our early departure the road was empty, though truth be told nothing about the day was busy due the pandemic and no or few visitors being on the island.
By mid-afternoon we were beached out and ready to head home before sunset. A quick stop on the edge of town for an energizing coffee and cake and then into the twists and turns of the road to Hana.
The Road to Hana
The road to Hana is a justifiable attraction for visitors to the island. The lush vegetation overhanging the road, the waterfalls, and views across the ocean make for a very special experience. As well, with the twists and turns of the road, the drive requires concentration. After a day in fresh air I was tired, and along with the road dancing between shade and sunlight caused by the late afternoon sun, I found the never ending bends in the road exhausting. Arriving home, I had enjoyed the day and at the same time I was pleased that the drive home was over.
The Bird and the Window
With everyone on their ways to their respective homes, I unpacked the car, took a shower and sat down to rest. I could still feel the drive home in me.
Suddenly there was a bang on the window. Getting up I saw a small bird on the ground. It must have flown straight into the window and was twitching on the ground. I went outside to see if it had survived the collision. Reluctant to be picked up, but unable to fly in that moment, it flapped its way across the ground every time that I reached down to it. Eventually I picked up the bird and went to sit on the grass and cradle the little creature in my hands.
Initially the bird struggled and flapped some more, but eventually it calmed down and fell silent. Although its eyes were closed, I could see that it was still breathing. With the sun setting the day was cooling down. The wind was quietening and a special stillness was falling over the property that only comes with dusk. As the bird calmed, so did I. The drive home faded from memory. Just being present with the bird, the landscape, the air and myself became what was.
For a moment I became aware how we can be somewhere, but not there. Not present to what is immediate in that moment.
As I sat there quietly holding the bird, I became more present to my environment - the stillness of the air, the wispy seed heads of the vetiver grass, the colours of the sky as the sunset, the tiny feathers of the bird and their intricate patterns. There was no _adding _ to my being there. I was simply present.
Moving on
With time, I got up and gently placed the bird, still resting, in a large plant pot. That way it would be off the ground and out of site of any night time predators, and at the same time could still rest.
The next day it was not there. I like to think that it had recovered and flown away.
A beautiful reminder of the importance of Stillness from John O’Donohue, shared via Rebecca Toh.
Thank you to @patrickrhone for making me aware of Toh’s writings.
Today, July 6th, is His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s 85th birthday. Here is his 85th Birthday Message.
May Meditation Nudges - Final Week
As a compliment to the live meditation sessions that I am running through May on YouTube and archived on my YouTube page, I am sharing tips and advice on meditation practice.
I am calling these brief posts, May Meditation Nudges. Here are the topics and links from the forth week. Posts from the first week can be found here, the second week here, the third week here, and the forth week here.
- Day 29 Hear, reflect, meditate
- Day 30 Keeping it light
- Day 31 Boundaries
The May meditations are now finished, though the videos remain up as do those from the April meditation series that preceded these. So they can be viewed in your own time when you are ready. Just head over to my YouTube page to view them.
If you want to find out more, I’d love to hear from you. Just click here.
May Meditation Nudge 31
Boundaries
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
I want to finish up the May Meditation Nudges with a short reflection on what external support we can offer our meditation practice. By that I mean, what we can do away from our formal meditation practice, out in our daily life, to aid our meditation practice.
When I say the “meditation”, I think of someone sitting cross legged on a cushion, motionless and quiet, engaged in some sort of internal activity. However, meditation does not happen in isolation of our time on the meditation cushion. In the same way that our meditation practice can effect how we are in our daily life, so can how we act in our daily life effects our time meditating.
How so?
When we sit to meditate, we bring our state of mind in that moment to our practice. If we are feeling peaceful, that will be a basis for our practice. If we are feeling upset, that will be present as we sit. If we are feeling annoyed or angry, that annoyance and the story behind it will be a distracting presence through our time sitting.
So if we can maintain an awareness of our state of mind while we are out and about, it can aid what we bring to the cushion. Easier said than done, yes, but if we implement some guidelines that process can be helped.
This is where what I am calling Boundaries comes in.
A boundary is a voluntary course of action that you choose to bring into your life to help you in your meditation practice. What might this look like?
First notice the emphasis on ‘voluntary’. You are not being made to do anything. Rather you are choosing to do something because of the benefits that you see that you will receive it. How your choice will serve you in training your mind. This is about looking honestly at our actions and asking ourselves what is serving us and what is not? What actions are beneficial and which are hurting us and/or others? How certain ways of being create an agitation, a tendency in the mind to act. These tendencies or habits sit in the mind waiting for the right causes to come along and then we act. By training ourselves not to act in a given way, the mind becomes more stable, more peaceful. Let me explore an example.
Perhaps I have a tendency to speak ill of people. With my meditation practice in mind, I ask myself honestly how this is serving me? Am I a better person because of this? Is this a habit that I want to take into the future, or would I like to change this way of being? I choose to change this habit and so I decide to refrain from speaking ill of people - that is a boundary I choose to bring into my life. Now being honest with myself I know that I am not going to be able to stop doing this overnight. It might be a well ingrained habit. So I slip back into old habits at times. To support myself, I can bring a small practice into my life.
- When I wake up in the morning I resolve to myself that I will not engage in speaking ill of people
- As I go through the day I use awareness and mindfulness to watch what I say and think.
- If I slip up and catch myself doing what I am trying not to do, I use as best I can (in the situation that I am in) the same tools that I use in my meditation practice - when I break into my old habits, I note it and with no judgement change what I am doing.
- At the end of the day I review how I got on. Where I kept to my intended path, I celebrate. Where I slipped up, I deepen my resolve to break from old habits.
- This is not about harsh judgement and beating myself up for mistakes made, rather an honest recognition of where I want to get to and what I want to leave behind.
- Having an accountability buddy, somebody who supports you in your aims can also be helpful. Someone who from time to time you checkin with. Someone who doesn’t judge you, but is behind you in your goals and can offer encouragement.
I invite you to pick a habit or two that is not serving you, and bring this simple practice in to help your meditation practice.
May Meditation Nudge 30
Keeping it light
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
I have spoken during these May Meditation Nudges of the importance of just showing up, of sitting with our emotions regardless of what arises and the need for vulnerability. This might appear on the face of it as though meditation is rather an ordeal, especially when I speak about meditation being a marathon and not a sprint. It might seem that through embarking on meditation practice, you are setting yourself up for a long, hard, slog.
First, from my experience that is not so. For me meditation has not been a slog, but one of the greatest gifts that I have given myself.
Secondly, the importance here is in keeping a lightness in our practice. When emotions and difficult states of mind arise in practice, the instruction is to gently note the distraction and with no judgement, return to the object of meditation. How ever often there is distraction, we approach the thoughts with the same gentle equanimity.
With time, by being present in this way with what arises in the mind we develop a more intimate relationship with our emotions and with ourselves. The fear diminishes, fear of those emotions that we don’t know because we have chosen to avoid them. Through our meditation practice those emotions are no longer strangers. When someone else acts in a way that we react against because it is a reflection of an aspect of ourselves, we see that for what it is. Our awareness of ourselves creates a greater awareness of how we and the world around us is working. Meditation opens us up to who we are and to the world.
Gentleness, lightness, humour, all of these are what enable us to be with ourselves, to be with what arises in our mind in such a way that we can work with it. Being heavy is not going to solve the problems. We need a lightness of being in ourselves to have the openness to transform our heart.
May Meditation Nudges - Forth Week
As a compliment to the live meditation sessions that I am running through May on YouTube and archived on my YouTube page, I am sharing tips and advice on meditation practice.
I am calling these brief posts, May Meditation Nudges. Here are the topics and links from the forth week. Posts from the first week can be found here, the second week here, and the third week here.
- Day 22 Emotions
- Day 23 Fine tuning the focus
- Day 24 Loving kindness
- Day 25 Does this ring true for you?
- Day 26 Breaking my own suggestions
- Day 27 You are not alone
- Day 28 Vulnerability & meditation
The May meditations are now finished, though the videos remain up, as do those from the April meditation series to view in your own time. Just head over to my YouTube page to view them.
If you want to find out more, I’d love to hear from you. Just click here.
May Meditation Nudge 29
Hear, reflect, meditate
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
Within the tradition that I was taught meditation, three steps were explained leading up to engaging in a meditation practice.
- Hear or read the teaching/explanation.
- Reflect on what you have heard or read.
- Meditate using that method.
Here’s how this works.
- First you hear or read instruction on a particular subject of meditation.
- Second, you spend some time reflecting on what you have heard. Does it ring true for you, in your heart? Don’t just take it on board because a well known author or teacher has said something. Make sure that the words ring true for you. If something doesn’t sound right, go and seek out clarification in the same way that you would ask questions about something new that you are trying to learn about. Discuss, explore, get clear in your own mind.
- Finally, once it is clear to you, once you understand what is being spoken about, meditate on the subject. Familiarize yourself with the idea. Focus on the idea so that the idea becomes you, so that you internalize the idea and make it your own.
I’ll add a fourth stage to this. If something really does not work for you as a result of the reflection stage, put it on the shelf for now. Come back to it at another time when maybe other information or happenings in your life might make you choose to revisit the subject. Or simply discard it. Don’t try and work with something that does not ring true for you.
May Meditation Nudge 28
Vulnerability & meditation
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
I believe that meditation requires a degree of vulnerability. I will call it here, self-vulnerability. Another word might be honesty? Unless one has a meditation teacher or meditation cohort with whom you can confide your experiences, meditation is a solitary practice. Sometimes emotions or states of mind arise which you would prefer not to think of a something that you think. However, that thought is there. It just presented itself in your mind. You have two choices - acceptance or denial. Denial puts the lid on the emotion for the time being, but it will surface again. Acceptance is the path that meditation takes.
In choosing to adopt the path of acceptance, we are being vulnerable with ourselves. In choosing to accept the presence of a state of mind that I would prefer not to be there, I am exhibiting a vulnerability towards myself, choosing to see and accept myself as I am. In doing so, I am taking the first steps towards freedom. I note and don’t get involved with the thought, and come back to the object of meditation with no judgement. It is a practice of loving kindness for self. In this acceptance of the thought’s presence is the start of letting it go.
Brené Brown, researcher, author and speaker on the subjects of shame and vulnerability speaks about people who she describes as Wholehearted.
Brené had identified a unique group of people who “fully embraced vulnerability … (who) believed what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.” She named them the Wholehearted.
~ A Look at Wholeheartedness with Brené Brown - B The Change
Or in the words of meditation teacher Pema Chödron, using different words but speaking to the same subject (replace ‘world’ with ‘self’ to personalize the phrasing of the practice),
If we want there to be peace in the world, we have to be brave enough to soften what is rigid in our hearts, to find the soft spot and stay with it. We have to have that kind of courage and take that kind of responsibility. That’s the true practice of peace.
~ Pema Chödron, Practicing Peace in Times of War
May Meditation Nudge 27
You are not alone
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
Meditation is an ancient tradition. Depending on one’s reading of history, the practice of meditation might go back as far as the 20th century BCE. Within the tradition that I was taught meditation, Tibetan Buddhism, Buddhism first arrived in Tibet in the 6th century.
People have been practicing meditation for a long time. Their cultural and situational experience might be very different to this time. The philosophical framework within which they held their practice might be different to yours right now, but the basic practice of focus on an object and being with the mind is there.
So, many individuals have trodden the path that meditators today are walking. Those individuals have had to deal with the ups and downs that meditation brings. That is why instruction exists for handling these circumstances.
So if you are struggling in your practice. If you feel at a low, or are wondering if you will manage to navigate a particular road bump in your meditation, remember that you are not alone. Others have been there before, persevered and found a way round.
Remember these people, reflect on their effort even if you never knew them and use the example of their effort to pull you along.
May Meditation Nudge 26
Breaking my own suggestions
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
I titled one of the earlier articles in this Nudge series, “Beware of waiting for silence before you meditate.” While I believe that the advice that I offer in that piece is important, I am now going to apparently contradict myself!
There are times when the noise of life is getting to me. If I was to use an analogy, it is as though my mind is a glass of muddy water that has been shaken up so much that it is not possible to see the clarity of the water. I need to spend some time to allow that mud to settle, and get my clarity of mind back. For me this is exacerbated as I am an introvert and high sensitive person (HSP). I will find myself getting overwhelmed by external distractions that might not even register on the radar of the more extroverted amongst us. At times I simply need to take a break, have a rest and recharge. That rest can take on the look of say quiet time by myself reading a book, but I have also found meditation can play a part in this. Simply sitting, watching the breath, noting the thoughts and noise in my head as they distract me, and returning to the breath. With time the noise in my head settles, my mind becomes clearer, I feel lighter (both mentally and physically) and better able to reengage with the world.
The trick is to remember not to see meditation as an escape to a quieter place, as I warn in the Nudge article linked to above. Meditation can offer itself as a tool to bring the mind to a quieter place, but meditation can also offer so much more than that. For those times that I need to quieten my mind, when the sense of overwhelm that I am experiencing is hurting me, meditation can be one method available to get me to a healthier place. But remember that we then have to step out into the world which is far from quiet. It is then that I can use the Swiss Army knife of tools that meditation offers to help me deal with the vicissitudes of life, and perhaps help to keep some of the noise at bay before it starts to overwhelm me.
May Meditation Nudge 25
Does this ring true for you?
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
Can you identify with this description? Some days, perhaps for reasons that you cannot really put your finger on, you can’t really find your bearings. You feel as though you are trudging through treacle, not getting anywhere and not really sure where you are headed anyway. You dutifully showed up to your meditation practice, but barely. You did things that you had to do through the day, but did so as though incased in foggy mist that kept you at a distance from what you were doing.
If so, listen to what you need and go and get it, look after yourself, and use mindfulness that you have developed in your meditation practice to stay with the feeling that is enshrouding you. Come up for air where you need to, take care of yourself, and where you can see if you can stay present with the feeling and not get lost in distraction. This too shall pass.
May Meditation Nudge 24
Loving kindness
This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me.
Loving kindness, that acceptance of yourself just as you are. That is something that I don’t always find very easy. I catch myself doing something, reacting to someone, speaking to someone, thinking something that I really wish that I didn’t do, say or think. I have an image of myself and how I want to show up in the world, even if I don’t articulate it to myself, and then something comes out of my mouth that has me squirming.
I think that it is easy to come into meditation thinking something like, “meditation will make me a better person," and then as I start sitting I find all sorts of thoughts emerging in my mind and I feel anything but a better person. There is no denying them, they are there. I am watching them, noting them, and coming back to the breath.
And there in comes the practice of loving kindness. In practicing meditation we are choosing to show up and be with ourselves regardless of what arises. We note and accept what comes up with no judgement, giving it the space to be, and not reacting against it or getting involved with it. This is not an indulgence. It is not allowing the good and not so good to have reign over us. Rather it is us getting closer to who we are. I am not trying to cover up that which I wish wasn’t there. I am not trying to distract myself and get involved in activities that don’t serve me so that I don’t have to look at myself. Quite the contrary, I am being with my humanness. I am accepting my humanity as it is.
As I start to accept myself, develop loving kindness towards myself, so I then have the ability to start working with those emotions and behaviours that don’t serve me. I can be with them and don’t get pulled so strongly by them. I sit with the agreeable and disagreeable with an open heart. I am no longer having a go at myself for what I wish wasn’t there. There is more acceptance. I am there for myself and don’t give up on myself.
May Meditation Nudges - Third Week
As a compliment to the live meditation sessions that I am running through May on YouTube and archived on my YouTube page, I am sharing tips and advice on meditation practice.
I am calling these brief posts, May Meditation Nudges. Here are the topics and links from the second week. Posts from the first week can be found here, and the second week here.
- Day 15 Community
- Day 16 No judgement
- Day 17 Awareness and Mindfulness
- Day 18 Self-Confidence
- Day 19 Faith
- Day 20 Meditate from where you are
- Day 21 Missing your regular meditation
I hope that you can join me for the remaining two May meditations this coming Monday 25th and Thursday 28th. Meditations are streaming at 12:55pm Hawaii time on those days. Head to my YouTube page to see the thumbnail to click on to access the stream. If you cannot make it at that time, all videos are archived for viewing in your own time.
If you want to find out more, I’d love to hear from you. Just click here.